


Descent averted

by wild_pang



Category: Star Trek: The Next Generation
Genre: Excising Quotation Marks, Heavy Angst, M/M, Rape/Non-con Elements, Threats of Rape/Non-Con, Threats of Violence, Unquote
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-26
Updated: 2018-11-26
Packaged: 2019-08-29 14:19:48
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,753
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16745611
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wild_pang/pseuds/wild_pang
Summary: All hope lost, Geordi reaches for the one thing that might bring Data back from the brink—their love.





	Descent averted

**Author's Note:**

> Another fic based directly on the framing in the canon episode "Decent," again with Data unmoored from his ethics program. However, this fic is not quite so sadistic as the last one I wrote on this theme. Instead, I wanted to explore Data being motivated to save Geordi _selfishly_ , not because it was the _right_ thing to do but because Geordi confessed loving him, pushing Data to recognize his mirroring feelings. When our android remains unhinged from right and wrong but rescues Geordi regardless, what happens then? 
> 
> ***Content warning*** for the general threat of violence and non-consensual intimacy, although this fic is more angst and fear and prisoner syndrome feels than it is actually depicting violence.
> 
> Also, I attempted writing without traditional quote punctuation, just to see what would happen. It helped me get into the mindset of sightless Geordi feeling terrified and hopeful and just plain lost. It turns out I liked the effect! I hope you can sink into it, too.

Geordi tried to raise his arms for the tenth time, and for the tenth time was reminded of the straps holding him onto some kind of a tilted examination platform.

Terror kept his breathing so shallow that he was starting to feel faint. He tried to take a deep breath or two, get some oxygen into his brain and some courage into the rest of him, but it was hard to be brave. He was alone, he couldn’t see, he couldn’t move, and his best friend had been talking about experimentation.

Not a formula for peace of mind.

Was that a sound? Was somebody out there?

Data? Is somebody there?

For a moment there was only the bizarre silence and a feeling that he wasn’t alone.

Then a familiar voice said his name.

Captain!

Shh, the captain hushed him. We’re getting out of here.

Hurry, Geordi whispered frantically. Data was just here. He went to get something—

Suddenly he heard Data’s voice just a few feet away. 

Too late, Geordi. 

Geordi drew a harsh breath and held it. He’d been fooled? Data’s blasted voice-replication ability!

My brother suggested I try to develop my sense of humor, Data said cheerfully. What do you think?

Horror took Geordi by the innards. Data’s talk of experiments was like something out of a gruesome story, but this . . . Data wasn’t just doing what needed to be done. He was tormenting his subject and calling it humor.

I think it needs a little work, Geordi muttered. He tried to pull away as he heard Data approach, but the straps allowed him almost no movement.

Data was standing beside the platform—Geordi could sense his presence and felt himself start to sweat again.

A whistling sound, very faint . . . something at the side of his head, at his temple, where the VISOR terminal was. He heard the whistle begin, then felt it vibrate into the side of his head.

What’s happening? Geordi's voice shivered. 

I am neutralizing your pain receptors, Data said bluntly.

Geordi swallowed hard.

What are you doing to me? He heard the click and bump as Data put down one device and picked up another. Something was happening. Geordi felt the pressure at the side of his head, as though a dentist were working on a numbed tooth. He felt the pushing on the side of his head and a faint sizzling sensation in his skull. Sweat poured down his face, broke over his jaw, and drained down his neck. His hands were trembling, pulling up against the straps.

I am implanting nano-cortenide fibers in your cortex that are designed to learn and mimic your neural firing patterns. Once they are in place, I will destroy your existing brain cells and see if the artificial neural network is able to take over cognitive functions.

Data, listen to me! Lore is controlling you. He’s transmitting some kind of carrier wave that’s affecting your positronic matrix.

If the procedure is successful, your cognitive processing functions will be considerably improved.

Don’t you care that he’s manipulating you? Geordi was practically shouting. 

However, there is approximately a seventy percent chance that you will not survive the procedure.

I don’t care much for those odds.

They are cause for concern. 

More pressure and sizzling sounds. Faint movement against his skull. Geordi gritted his teeth as weakness flooded into his limbs.

Concern . . . Was there some part of Data that still cared about him? He searched frantically for a way to awaken the lingering devotion he thought he heard. If there was a chance—

However, since I also have Counselor Troi and Captain Picard, the odds are that the procedure will be successful on at least one of you.

The cold truth hit Geordi square in the face. He’d misunderstood. And there was nothing he could say that would stop Data from drilling neural fibers into the skull of the man who had once been his closest friend.

As if to mock his fading hope and fan his fear, the pressure at the side of his head began again.

Geordi was angry and tired, afraid for his life, but mostly just sick and sore to see Data like this. Lore was only feeding him anger, bitterness, and sadistic glee at causing harm. Kind Data, dependable Data, decent and ethical Data, who wouldn’t have allowed this mutilation and torture to happen in a million years. If only Data were really here.

Geordi decided to he needed to hear it, whether he listened or not. 

Goddamn you. Who do you think you are?

You know who I am.

No. Fuck no. The Data I know would never let this happen. Not in a million years. Whoever you are, you aren't who you appear to be.

Wishful thinking, La Forge.

Far from it. I want nothing more than for Data to be here. The real Data. I trust him with my life. I trust him with anyone's life. With every living thing. Because he is the most just, the most kind, the most good that a person can be.

Data snickered cruelly.

That explains why you do not recognize me. You cannot see past your own misconceptions.

I don't think so. I know him better than anyone.

Better than I do?

Absolutely. You're some fiction Lore created, a sick imitation. And sometimes, yes, I know him better than he knows himself.

Oh that is rich, Geordi.

I would bet my life on it.

That can be arranged.

A chill ran down Geordi's spine. Outwardly he gave no sign of backing down. But was he thinking this through? This could take a very bad turn. But could it really get any worse? Desperate measures were called for. He steeled his jaw and glared back.

Try me.

I am nothing to you, then. What is he to you?

I don't see how that's relevant.

Oh, sure it is. We are determining who knows Data better, and I am going to show you that you are a fool. What does he mean to you?

This is a trick.

It most certainly is. But you already agreed. What does Data mean to you?

More than you can imagine.

If I am Data, would I not in fact know the feelings of my best friend?

Even if you were Data, you would know a great deal, but not all.

What does Data not know about this friendship? What secrets have you kept from him? What kind of friend are you?

The kind who puts his friend's needs before his own.

What does that cryptic bullshit even mean? The android shouted.

Geordi was silent.

Answer me.

But if you were Data, you would be figuring it out. Putting it all together. He's not aware yet, but he's not stupid. More than I can say for you.

There was a long silence. Then a small sound of surprise. Geordi wished for all the world that he could see the android's face; the visual would tell him so much more. Data never had the most expressive voice. But his eyes, that was different. His eyes had always told Geordi what he needed to know about Data's feelings, however much the android denied having them.

You are trying to confuse me, the android said, his voice uncertain.

I'm telling you the truth.

Silence.

Your feelings were intimate. You wanted to be with me.

I wanted to be with _Data_.

You feel that way still. Right now.

I still love him. I can't make myself feel anything else!

Shh! Are you trying to bring the whole compound down on us?

Geordi fell silent, abashed. Data didn't want anyone to come in right now. Did that mean he cared? Or only that he was too curious to resist the lure?

Why the secret, then? Were you ashamed of me?

God no! You can't say that. Data knows me better than that.

Quit talking like I am not standing right here, Geordi.

I'm s—sorry, Data, Geordi stuttered nervously. Maybe treating him like someone else was counterproductive. Maybe Data was hearing him. But if not, he risked a crushing blow.

Geordi cleared his throat, shaking but determined. 

Please, Data, I thought I was protecting our friendship. If you knew how I felt, but didn't have those feelings, how would you react? I thought it would confuse you, maybe hurt you or what we shared on the Enterprise. You deserve better than that. I was afraid you would be too generous.

What does that mean?

That you would give me anything you could, whatever it might cost you. You might give me too much. I could be taking advantage of you, and not even know it. I had to wait and see if you became interested in me. I was patient. I would be your friend forever, no matter if you never wanted me to be your partner.

What if I found someone else?

I was afraid of that, actually. I could hope that you would be happy, and if you were happy that was all I ever wanted. I'd survive, and I'd stay your friend. But if you weren't happy, if that person wasn't good to you, I don't know how I could let it go. I would have to tell you. And if I told you like that, interfering in your life, well you'd probably never trust me again. I've thought a lot about this.

Clearly you have, Data said very quietly.

Hope pierced Geordi's heart. He felt a surge of strength in his body. He had to hang on. Data might yet come through.

What do you stand to gain from this, Geordi?

That depends who I'm talking to. If you're not Data, I'm telling you my greatest weakness, and there's no telling how deeply you can hurt me with this.

The human shuddered.

And if you are Data, then I might be able to remind you what I mean to you... before you destroy me. That's my only hope right now.

The silence was deafening.

If you still care about me, Data, if you can remember that much, then you won't ever forgive yourself for what you're about to do. Think about it, Data. Because I won't be coming back.

I do not understand how you never told me this.

Remember when we went to that concert together, and I put my arm around the back of your chair like we were together? I know you noticed—you looked right at me but said nothing. Remember when I asked if you'd go for a walk with me in the arboretum? Remember when I told you I thought you were charming? Remember how I told you I wanted to spend more time with you? Remember how I said there's no one like you?

There _is_ no one like me... except my brother.

Damn, Geordi thought, don't let him think about his brother. Think quick!

There is no one like you _anywhere_ , Data. And there is no one who loves you like I do.

The braces at Geordi's upper arms snapped open, then the one holding his head. His feet last. Geordi slipped off the platform to his feet, still blind. He had no idea what was coming next.

Data, I need to know if I can trust you.

And I would prefer to know if I can trust you. I supposed we are both out of luck, Geordi.

Geordi's heart sank; it wasn't the answer he hoped for, but at least he thought it was honest. What was Data doing? He felt Data's hand brush against his cheek. It was gentle; Geordi fought hard against his instinct to shrink from him. There was only one way out of this, he realized, and that was with Data batting for him. And if Data betrayed his most intimate trust, he didn't want to live through it anyway.

He closed his blind eyes, a gesture of trust. Whatever happens, he thought, I am in your hands now.

Data's fingers trailed down his neck, across his shoulder, down his arm. Geordi felt emotion catch in his throat, his eyes wet with tears. At the same time, his body responded passionately, his breath quivering. Data's touch ended with a gentle grip on his wrist.

Data's other hand swiped his other cheek just as a tear fell. Data's palm slid along his jawline until his fingers brushed behind his ear. Geordi tried to be silent but he barely suppressed a moan.

He was sure Data had heard.

He felt his lips on his, so soft, just as he had always imagined them. Geordi kissed him back. He let himself fall into it how he had always wanted to. God help me, he thought. He vibrated with emotion, grasping at Data's waist. Both of Data's hands were at his face, in his hair.

Geordi heard Data moan ever so softly into his mouth. It was more like the sound a small injured bird would make than the sound of a man in passion. But then again Data was no man.

Data was holding him to his chest, kissing where a tear had streaked his other cheek, his chest rising and falling. The android was very agitated. Finally, he spoke softly but quickly.

We have to go.

Where are we going? Can I have my VISOR?

Lore has it, so no. And I can't tell you where.

Well then you're going to have to lead me.

I can do that.

Data took him by the arm, not roughly like before, not like a bully. But his grip was firm as a vice. Geordi was physically and mentally exhausted but a cocktail of hope and fear moved him to be every bit as quick as what Data required of him.

Not a word more until I say, the android cautioned.

They were in the corridor. Data walked unhurriedly, which meant someone might be looking. Soon Geordi heard Borg. They passed one, then another. No one would question Data, except Lore and maybe Chrosis.

Geordi for his part looked as much Data's prisoner as before, and maybe he still was. He had no idea.

This wasn't the corridor he remembered. They had turned another way. He had never been to this part of the compound. Suddenly it struck Geordi in the face that he'd said nothing about the Captain or Deanna. They weren't going that way. No, oh no. He had promised not to speak—Lore could be anywhere—but they couldn't leave without the others, they'd be killed for sure!

Before he could utter one syllable, Data's hand clamped over his mouth. Damn android reflexes.

Data was rushing now, carrying Geordi so that he could move more quickly and more quietly. They had covered a lot of ground, lots of turns. The compound seemed to go on forever.

Stairs downward. Another flight. On the landing, Data put Geordi down, his mouth still covered.

You must swear to me that you will whisper, or this will end in disaster.

Geordi nodded.

That immovable hand released him. In fact, Data let him go entirely, doing something to a panel low in the wall. It sounded like metal he was prying loose. A vent cover? An escape?

Data, what about the Captain? Deanna?

Data sighed.

One thing at a time, Geordi. I am getting you out of here. You will be in good hands.

Whose hands?

Your friend Hugh.

Geordi reeled at the realization that Hugh could be here, nearby. Data continued, still whispering.

Hugh resisted my brother. He and some other Borg individuals are hiding in these caves. Lore does not know where they are, but I do. Hugh tried to reach me when I first arrived here. He thought I would help him.

But you didn't.

I did not.

What are you going to do, Data?

I will try to save the Captain and the Counselor. If Lore has already discovered my betrayal, it will be too late. You must hurry.

Guide me, Data.

Put your hands here. You will have to crawl for twenty-two meters. It is rough and very narrow. Where the tunnel widens you can stand. There will be forty meters more, sloping downward but not very steep. Stay to the right; eventually the tunnel splits and you want to take the right passage to find Hugh and his group. If they have moved on, if you do not find them, you will have to hide until help comes for you.

Geordi gulped.

Go now. I will replace the cover behind you; no matter what, you will not be discovered. I hope that I will see you again.

Data, I—I love you. Please don't forget that.

He felt Data's hand against his cheek, a caress. A goodbye. Geordi caught his breath. The hand vanished.

Go.

Geordi felt the opening with his hands, ducked and crawled inside.

The cover snapped roughly back into place with the grating sound of metal on metal. Then he was gone, running quietly back up the stairs.

Geordi began crawling. After everything Data had just done, he owed it to him to get to safety if he could do it. His exhaustion knew no limits. The same could be said of many things: his gratitude; his fear; his heartache. Blind and sobbing, he felt his way along the passageway. The rock was rough on all sides, including jutting surfaces overhead. Small rocks against the rough bottom cut his hands and knees.

As frightening as it was to be blind, this was one of those places that was probably better not to see. Claustrophobic didn't come close.

Was he better off on his own here, or finding Hugh and the Borg? Data hadn't said where the left passage led—maybe it led out! What if the Borg he had given a name did not take kindly to seeing him again? Hugh had asked for Geordi to see him off on the planet when the collective came back for him, and he had done so. Even after they reintegrated him, just for an instant Hugh had looked back in his direction. He had remembered his friend. Could it be like that again?

He was probably halfway down the tight passage, his strength sapped as it was. He stopped repeatedly to steady himself, his head swimming. Data's experiment might still kill him. There was no knowing how long he could survive without treatment.

He thought of Beverly's face, thought of sickbay, of the safety of the Enterprise, and he crawled on.

Sounds ahead. Nowhere to hide, no cover. Oh no, no...

Geordi? My god, Geordi!

Commander Riker!

Yes, of course! Where is your VISOR?

Geordi crawled forward as fast as he could.

Commander, the Captain and Deanna are in trouble. Data's going back for them, but when Lore finds I am missing, finds out he helped me, he'll kill them all. Lore is just as strong as Data and he has the Borg on his side, too. I don't even know if Data can overpower him this time. Data's still kinda mixed up, you have to understand; Lore is transmitting negative emotions to him, manipulating him, but I think the Captain must have successfully rebooted his ethical program with a kedion pulse. Otherwise I can't explain why he just saved me. One minute he was going to neutralize my brain cells, and the next he's putting me in a tunnel and telling me he's going back to save the others. The Captain and Deanna are still in a brig cell as far as I know.

As he got the end of the tunnel, he felt Riker's hands and another, larger man's grip.

Is that you, Worf?

Yes, Geordi. Where is your VISOR?

Lore has it. He made Data take it from me because I could see the carrier wave he was using to control Data.

We're going in there, Riker said. Can you describe the way?

Geez, Commander, I don't think so. After the tunnel, up the stairs, two flights? Then it was all level corridor, a lot of turns. Data carried me part of the way. I really have no idea.

It's okay, Geordi. That may be all we need. You stay here with Hugh. We'll be back for you, Geordi. We'll get you to the ship, you'll pull through this.

Hugh? Geordi said questioning, feeling for him.

Hello, Geordi.

The Borg's voice was unmistakable. His clammy hand clasped Geordi's in the air.

Hugh, my friend. It's good to hear your voice.

I did not expect to see you again, Geordi. Come, I will help you to walk.

Riker and Worf told them to stay out of trouble, and began their crawl.

Hugh, I'm sorry, I need to sit for a minute. I might black out.

Black. Out?

Lose consciousness. Data did this experiment...

I know, Geordi. Lore has done this experiment on many of the Borg. He does not care what they suffer. But, Data was your friend? How could he do this to his friend?

He was being controlled. It was not his choice. He remembers everything, though, which will be very painful for him later. He told me you came for help and he let you down. He knows that is not how you treat your friends, and he's getting free of Lore now. He's stronger than his brother.

I hope that he is.

 

—

 

An hour passed, but then it was all over. Geordi was in and out of consciousness now, but he heard Data's voice. Worf was with him. Data told Hugh that Lore was destroyed. Riker was with the other humans, they were already heading for the beam-out point. Data would carry Geordi out of the caves back to the rendezvous. 

Geordi, do you want your VISOR now?

Data spoke softly as he pressed it into his hand.

I do but... I don't know if I can handle the inputs. It might make things worse.

I understand. I will carry it. Drink some water.

He held a container to his lips, tilting his head and holding it for him. Geordi had not realized how thirsty he was, but now he drank greedily, still slumped against the rock wall.

Now let me help you up.

Geordi felt Hugh let go of his hand. He hadn't known he was holding his hand. Hugh encouraged them to go quickly and save his friend Geordi.

You are a most deserving friend, Hugh, Data said. The words had a bite to them the Geordi was too weak to figure out. 

Data held him in his arms against his chest and started running. The last thing Geordi felt was his face against Data's chest, the material softer than he expected. Ribbed cotton. His uniform was gone, and Geordi couldn't account for it.

Everything faded away.

 

Geordi felt the sun on his face, then the wind. He shivered, probably more from shock than from the weather. Data held him closer, whispering.

Hold on, Geordi.

I will not let you down.

 

He was being set on the ground in dry grass, against something hard and smooth. The shuttle. He wondered how long he had been unconscious.

Data?

Yes, I am here.

He felt a container against his lips again.

Drink this. It is water and electrolytes.

This time Geordi held the canteen himself, gulping over half before Data could stop him.

Slowly, not too much. You are in shock.

Just then, Picard's voice. The Enterprise had gotten through to them.

Now, Data demanded. His voice held an unmistakable strain.

Deanna crouched by Geordi, holding him up, bracing his head. Then the Captain's voice.

Four for emergency transport to sickbay.

 

—

 

Geordi could see Beverley's face. He smiled.

My god, Doctor, am I glad to _see_ you.

Beverley smiled at him.

You're going to pull through, Geordi. But I'm going to be very strict about rest and recuperation. I wasn't sure I could bring you back from this one.

Miracle-worker, he accused.

Something like that. You may have trouble with your VISOR for a while. We'll have to keep an eye on it.

I'll have to borrow your eye for that, he joked.

Well, you sure woke up funny. What's gotten into you?

I'm alive, Data didn't murder me, I'm back on the Enterprise... Beverley, where I've been lately, that's a lot more than I had the sense to hope for.

You've been through a lot. You both have.

Her face creased with concern.

I thought you would want to know that Barclay was able to help Data while you were in treatment.

Help him with what?

Sorry, I thought you knew. You must've forgotten. They had to reset his ethical program with a narrow-band kedion pulse. He was operating without it ever since before he left the Enterprise.

Just then Picard walked in.

But... but I thought the Captain had managed to reset it with the transceiver. Data's behavior changed! I was sure it must have worked.

Beverly shook her head softly.

No, Geordi. I shouldn't have mentioned it, I'm sure you'll be briefed. Right now you need to rest.

He grabbed her hand.

You don't understand. I need to know what happened.

Picard cleared his throat. Beverly straightened and met his eyes, and then she and the other staff left the room, leaving Geordi with Picard.

Geordi tried to sit up but found the restraining field in place.

At ease, La Forge. You aren't ready to be on your feet quite yet.

Captain, I... don't understand. How did we get out of there?

You should know, Geordi. You got through to him. You made him remember his former life, helped him choose that life over the one Lore tempted him with.

And he still didn't care about right or wrong?

No. He made a selfish decision to save you. He realized at some point that you would never forgive him for our deaths. That is how he understood it. So he tried to save your crew, for _you_. And getting you to the Enterprise was probably the only way you would live. I am fairly certain that is all he cared about. He essentially turned himself in as a criminal provided we made your safety our priority.

Captain! You of all people know—

Geordi, calm down. Data is not in my brig. He'll be back on duty in a matter of days. Sooner than you will be, I'm afraid. I'm trying to help you understand what occurred.

I'm... still confused.

Whatever you told him, he decided you must live. He made himself your bodyguard and your nurse. He was convinced he would be dismantled by Starfleet without ceremony, but he told me pointedly that if you survived that would be enough. That maybe, if you lived long enough, you could forgive him.   

But he didn't... know what he did was... wrong?

Oh, he knew it was criminal. He knows how law works and expected consequences. But the only remorse he felt over it all was how he had hurt you. Geordi, _you_ became his moral center. That was all he paid attention to.

Oh my God. He acted like he was going back for you all along. But if I hadn't asked him how we were getting you out, he wouldn't have given it a thought.

I am sure you are right.

Oh hell! I was fading so fast. If I hadn't had the wherewithal to...

Geordi, what is important is that you saved everyone. I don't honestly know _how_ you did it. Even once his ethics were reset, Data refused to explain it in his report. He said he would not risk betraying your trust. He argued that his duty to Starfleet did not extend that far! As you can imagine, I'm a bit unnerved by this development.

Geordi felt the heat on his face.

Captain, I don't think Data needed to make such a fuss over it, but I can see where he would get that idea. I mean, he... tortured me, and almost killed me. If he could spare me a little embarrassment by ruining his career, he might do it. Generous to a fault, you know. Our Data. 

Picard looked at him squarely. Geordi would not get out of this so easily.

Captain, you- you must have suspected by now that I have feelings for Data. I have for a long time. Well, I confessed everything. My feelings, my desire. That I'd bet my life on his goodness. He tested me, kissed me while I was his prisoner. He knew then it was not some convenient lie.

Picard barely concealed the shock on his face. 

I see. I will not expect this in your report. Data may have been right to refuse after all.

No, I think you needed to know, Captain. I don't blame you for leaving no stone unturned. I mean, Data can be totally lethal when his programming is suppressed, a weapon when he's under another's control. He has to rebuild your trust, and refusing to tell this little thing is probably no way to start.

But he also has to regain your trust, also, Geordi. He has made abundantly clear that besides his ethical mooring, you are his only priority.

Geordi was silent, considering. 

I will leave you to rest, La Forge. Deanna will be visiting with you regularly. Data has been instructed that he may not come and see you until you are cleared. If you want to give Beverly another directive, you may, but she's the final word on it.

Thank you, Captain. 

 

—

 

Geordi sat in the Counselor's office.

I have to see him.

Deanna addressed Geordi patiently.

It's your first day back on your feet. You don't need to rush into anything.

But it is what I want to do. I didn't rush it while I was in sickbay. It's been days! I don't see how this is rushing.

You may be surprised by how you feel when you see him.

I'm not afraid of him.

I know. You are remarkably sure of him. Even on the planet, your feelings with him were overwhelming trust and love.

So what is the problem?

That you were harmed at his hands. That you shared a moment of intimacy while he was your captor. That you are exhibiting a very specialized case of Stockholm Syndrome.

My feelings for him are real!

They are. I know your feelings well, Geordi. But your pain is also real, and you aren't facing it, aren't coping with it, because you are too busy insisting there's nothing wrong.

Fine. Fine, okay? It's not okay. Is that what you need to hear me say? How does that help?

He sighed and gripped his forehead.

I'll tell you all about my trauma. First he took my VISOR away. He really screwed with me, you know, tricked me with Picard's voice, and then laughed at me. He drilled holes in my head and began a bogus procedure with utter disregard for my life. He was cruel. He demoralized me, stomped on every hope I had. He refused me water, then let me hear him drink some himself. He would have snapped my neck if you tried to keep the weapon you stole. He came for me the second time intent on eradicating my brain cells.

And how did you respond to him?

I tried to reason with him. I tried to gauge his reactions, but he didn't give a shit about what I said. I... I defended myself the only way I knew how. I told him he wasn't Data to me. I really decided that at one point, that he was no more the person I knew than Lore was. He might as well have been Lore with access to stolen memories. I talked about Data in the third person. I talked about Data incessantly, about how right and good he was, but I said _he_ was nothing to me.

How did that go?

It bothered him and it gave me something I could do. It worked until he started to sound confused. It was when I was telling him how much I love Data. He finally demanded I stop pretending he wasn't there. I knew it was a risk, but I thought I was getting through to him. If so, the more direct the better.

Go on.

It was awful, Deanna. I've wanted to tell him that I love him for so long. To tell him when I thought he might be about to kill me, when he might use it to tear apart... I have never felt so vulnerable. When he unbound me and then touched me, I thought he might be about to rape me. I know it's rape, I would have had no choice in the matter, but I also know I would not have done only what was required of me. I would have given him everything, as long as he asked me gently, in Data's voice.

He remembered the moment Data kissed him, responding like a starving man to a feast.

I- I told myself that if he betrayed me this intimately, that I didn't want to live through it anyway. I would do something that would force him to kill me. But until I knew my fate, I could do nothing but love him with every beat of my heart.

Deanna was silent.

I'm not helping my case, am I, Counselor?

Geordi, my only concern is for your well-being. Seeing him today is your decision. Make note of your feelings, especially unexpected ones. It's perfectly normal if you find anger, resentment, confusion, and fear. Even if it's wrapped up in great love and a willingness to trust without cause.

Without cause!

Geordi, I only meant—

I have plenty of cause to trust him. He has his conscience back. He was violated as violently as I was, Deanna, and by his own brother. You helped me when I was brainwashed by the Romulans and programmed for assassination. No one looked at me askance afterward. Data has just been through far worse and ultimately resisted by his own choice. He deserves our help too.

I am seeing Data for counseling every day, just as I have you. I assure you that I am as concerned with his well-being as I am for yours.

Geordi felt abashed.

I'm sorry, Deanna. I know you care about him too.

It's alright, Geordi. Just be careful today. Try the take things slow.

Thanks. 


End file.
